A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Randomize
