last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
