She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
