He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
