Whod you bang
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
