i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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