HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
