Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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