Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Come share oat with me in your robe
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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