It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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