his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
