I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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