Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
