Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
