If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He shit in the fireplace
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
