we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
