ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
What a dumb baby whore.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize