That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
