I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
