I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
