I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The air was thick with penises
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
