he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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