Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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