I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
