85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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