Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
