Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
