If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
