i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
