I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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