it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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