He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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