YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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