Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
