please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
