Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize