I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
