I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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