i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
