I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
