On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
