why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
