all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
All the doctor said was why
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
