the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Randomize
