I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Green mimosas i think yes
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
