I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
