Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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