he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
