I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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