as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
