we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
