I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
