operation harelip BJ is a go
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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