You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
