Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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