Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
