I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
