come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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