not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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