I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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