i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
