erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
