I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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