wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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