ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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