He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
