i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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