that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
