when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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