Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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