He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
