I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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