We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
