I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
