She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize