Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
